3/14/2007
Healthy self-esteem no matter what
Hello my friend:
A lot of people, maybe even most, think that 'success' at a
given task or set of tasks is judged only at the end,
believing that if they are not perfect or if they didn't win the
prize, or beat their opponent into the ground, or if they didn't
get asked to the dance, or if they don't weigh a certain amount
then they didn't succeed and they aren't any good.
Well, that is absurd because first off, it's impossible to be
perfect. Secondly, if you can only 'succeed' and be happy if
you are perfect or if you are the best at something, it would be
impossible to be happy and content.
Healthy self-esteem is the thing that helps you feel good about
yourself even when you may be failing or even when other people
are telling you that you're not good enough. Well, if your
opinion of yourself is based on what other people say and think,
than you are in deep trouble.
Because I'll clue you in...
Over the course of your life, there will be many people who
seem to make it their personal mission to try to make you
miserable.
It's everywhere, actually.
Everywhere you go, everywhere you look, everything you read,
everything you see on TV has the effect of classifying people by
how many toys they have, what they look like, the kind of house
they live in, what school they went to, the degrees on the wall.
To survive in today's world and to thrive in today's world, you
must be able to withstand and redefine all the negative messages
about your worth, your value and your abilities.
Because no one is totally immune to criticism. No one is safe
from being teased or harassed.
Even the richest, most beautiful, fittest, most intelligent,
most well-loved people see the messages that scream, 'You aren't
good enough.' The truth is, the more skilled and successful you
get in any area of your life, the bigger the target you are for
critics of all types.
But the worst kind is self criticism brought on by the desire
to be absolutely perfect and from believing what the critics are
saying.
That is why we created Real Self-Esteem Now!
This program has helped thousands and thousands and thousands
of people all over the world to ignore and re-label the messages
that come from all directions, trying to tell them that they
have to be perfect and if they're not, they are no good.
Real Self-Esteem Now is remarkable in its ability to change
even the most negative self-condemning self-talk into real,
positive, lasting self-love, where you feel worthy of achieving
even your wildest dreams, no matter how big they are.
Money cannot give you healthy self-esteem.
Good looks can't do it.
Raving fans can do it.
Even achievements stacked one on top of the other till they
reach the sky can't do it.
Because healthy self-esteem comes from the inside.
Here's a great letter that proves this point:
=====================================
Dear Mike,
I have suffered from low self-esteem for as long as I can
remember, having been bullied from early on in my school career
to about the age of 16. I was always good at school (which was
the reason for most of the bullying) so I managed to leave
school with good qualifications and went on to do a degree at
university. Despite my academic achievements and going on to a
good career, my personal life suffered from my lack of self-
esteem. I tended to hide away rather than trying to make new
friends and I would only do the bare minimum at work to get by.
I happened across your website while doing a search for self-
esteem and subscribed to your wonderful newsletter. I enjoyed
the daily lessons but had no intention of buying any of the
programmes as I have read so many books on the subject with
limited success, that I was wary of spending any more money. I
think it was the inspirational letters at the end of your daily
email that finally made me take the plunge and order 'Real Self-
Esteem Now'.
I put the CD on repeat and listened to it all night long for a
few weeks. Within the first week I noticed a difference in
myself. I was actually standing up for myself in situations
where I would usually let people walk all over me. I manage a
team of 6 people at work, but I must admit I was a bit of a soft
touch, and found it difficult to delegate or say no to people.
After a few weeks of listening to the CDs I was finding it
easier to assert myself, something I have not been able to do
in, well...ever!
I found that when a challenge would come up, instead of
panicking or running away, or comparing myself unfavorably to
other people, as would be my usual instinct, I was reminded of a
time in my life when I felt as good as everybody else, if not
better. The CD was reminding me of things I suppose I had
forgotten a long, long time ago and all of a sudden I was feeling
like life was full of so many possibilities again.
I have also noticed that whereas before I would be absolutely
crushed by the slightest hint of criticism, now I am more
inclined to actually listen to what the person is saying, and
evaluate it to see if it can be helpful to me in some way.
Setbacks are no longer demoralizing- I tend to look to see if
they can teach me anything, or they spur me on to find a
solution. This is great as they would usually throw me into a
great depression.
I noticed a side-effect of listening to this programme, which I
hadn't been expecting was that I was becoming much tidier. My
workstation at work was usually a mess, but I had been keeping
it in order without even thinking about it. One of the
statements on the CD is 'any habit of untidiness has disappeared
forever,' and I think it must have been this that caused the
change. I decided to order 'I am Organized Now' and 'Supreme
Confidence Now' to continue the good work started by the first CD.
My husband has been listening to the programmes as well, as I
put them in a CD player that plays in our room all night, and he
too has been exhibiting wonderful signs of change that just MUST
be due to the programme. He says he feels more confident, and I
too have noticed him acting more assertive in situations that he
might have responded differently to in the past. Our house seems
to stay tidy these days, whereas before I thought the reason it
was always such a mess was because we had two young children! We
just seem to find more time to keep things in order and it is
great! I am more organised at work now, and my days just run so
much more smoothly. I think I noticed the benefits of the
organisation CD about two weeks into the programe.
I feel so different these days, I'm sure other people must be
wondering what has happened to me but the change I am most
thrilled with is that I no longer walk around with a constant
sense of worry and feel like I can enjoy life more. There have
been so many changes and if I listed them all here I would be
here all night, but all I can say is that I am extremely
grateful to you, Mike.
Your programmes have made changes that even counseling failed
to do. I'm not saying I'm 100% confident all the time. Some days
I'm not as assertive as I'd like to be. Sometimes I get nerves
before doing something challenging, but usually a couple of
seconds into taking the plunge I am speaking confidently and
eloquently and all fear disappears.
Thanks again
U. Husselbury
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Mike: Beautiful!
There are so many positive 'side effects' to healthy self-esteem.
When you have it, everything else in your life just seems to
work better, feel better, taste better.
And when things don't go the way you'd like them to go, when
you have healthy self-esteem, and I call it REAL self-esteem, it
doesn't negatively change the way you feel about yourself.
Because in the end, no one can make you feel bad about
yourself, but you...
... and no one can make you feel good about yourself, but you.
I love you all,
Mike Brescia
P.S. Do you want to be a success story like the one above?
You can be. Get Real Self-Esteem Now, and it will feel as
natural as can be.
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