December 9, 2007
Assume responsibility - then you are in control
Hello my friend:
Most people don't even realize that they are having a
constant conversation with themselves.
You do it all day long, too.
We all do.
It's not just mental pictures and movies we see in our
mind's eye--or with our actual eyes. There's an inner
dialog going on constantly about our thoughts, opinions and
ideas about those images we see. We constantly talk to
ourselves about the physical and emotional feelings we get,
too.
Whether you are aware of it or not, you are doing this all-
day-long.
For example, if you are someone who is always cracking
jokes or who is told often that you have a "good sense of
humor," it's not just on the outside that you're funny.
You are having humorous conversations in your head all the
time. You "see" the humorous side of life.
But if you are depressed or angry or afraid of a lot of
things, if you are nervous and stressed out, it's all in
how you communicate with yourself... your non-stop stream
of mental movies and inner dialog is the biggest reason for
your negative/disempowering emotions.
I hear from new clients all the time, "I can't help the
way I feel. It's not my fault... if my boss would just..."
"If my wife, kids, parents would only do X, then I'd feel
better."
"If someone would just listen to me, I'd be more
successful at X."
"I can never get a break."
"I'm surrounded by idiots. It's no wonder I can't get
anything done."
"Everyone is always sabotaging my efforts."
Totally controlled by others.
See, by and large, once you are past the age of 15 and in
some cases, 18-20, all your achievements and failures are
100% your fault. Because no one can control what you say
to yourself but you.
Bill Gates was a billionaire by the time he was 31. He
dropped out of college even though his parents didn't want
him to.
Tiger Woods' dad made him practice, but that didn't ensure
he'd be anything but pretty good. Lots of parents push
their kids. But most people push back, experiencing only
anxiety from it.
To the exact same situations, one person reacts with
depression ("It's over now, I'll never make it."), another
person reacts with anger ("It's their fault!"), and yet
another person responds with hope and optimism ("Well, you
can't win 'em all. I'll do better next time.").
It's not what happens to you, dude or dudette, it's how
you see what happens to you and around you, and how you
handle it.
So if things are not going your way in one or more areas
of life, to point fingers anywhere but to yourself is to be
guaranteed to keep getting more of the same.
That's a lock.
The way you see life now is the same way you've looked at
it for years. Because that self talk that's been in your
head for years has been shaping your view of your world all
that time. So if you want some circumstances or some
emotional patterns to change, the only way it will happen
is to examine your beliefs and attitudes surrounding the
underlying issues, and you must change your self-talk.
Otherwise...
Look at the 22 mental patterns shown on the home page at
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com and filter your beliefs and
attitudes in any of the "problem" areas of your life
through those patterns and I guarantee you'll have a major
"Aha!" moment... and you'll be open to doing what you need
to do to get different results.
If you don't have that "Aha!"? Well...then you're pretty
hopeless and you're going to be experiencing a lot more
pain, anger, frustration and depression.
Where you are failing, take responsibility. Change your
inner affirmations (your beliefs) Then and only then can
you take control.
Then you can start to develop superpowers even where there
is none now.
Love,
Mike
P.S. The time is drawing to a close on the 25% discount on
'Conquering Social Anxiety Now!'.
If you feel self-conscious, shy and you think you have
good reasons, you probably don't. Get rid of those
feelings once and for all. You CAN feel more at ease
around people IF you change those bad mental pictures and
replace them with good ones. The happiest people are the
ones who feel most totally at ease around people. Make that
you.
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