June 11, 2008
How to stay motivated so you never quit
Hello my friend:
I just spoke to a client, Brian, who asked me, "Is doing
what feels good always bad? Because it seems so."
I asked him why he said that and he responded, "Whenever I
do what feels good, it always ends up very bad for me.
With more prodding, he opened up.
He said he was getting a divorce, his kids didn't like him
much either, his job attendance and performance was shaky
and he just might lose his employment.
Further, he'd always done average to poor in school,
opting to get stoned and drunk instead of studying.
In fact, he said that when faced with a choice to do
something that had great long-term bennies for him (health,
relationships, career, finances, etc), he always seemed to
choose what felt best and most fun in the moment.
So he always ate the tastiest, sugariest, creamiest food
available, he cheated on his wife, he played when work had
to be done, he ignored his kids and their needs, he'd kick
back with his buddies and a beer or six instead of doing
any kind of physical labor or making time for exercise.
What I told him was that he needed simply to place
different "meanings" on the activities and choices that
gave him those long-term benefits he mentioned.
Like taking a course toward getting his degree... Instead
of seeing it as drudgery, and just as something that kept
him from doing what was fun, I told him to write down all
the benefits he'd receive from taking one class and
another, then another. And how he'd feel emotionally about
that... How would he feel about himself.
Same thing with his health, since he always, always opts
for the "tastiest" of what he perceives as his only food
options. So you can imagine the size of his pants.
He was to write down all the things he'd get and how they
would make him feel.
We did this for a while in each area of his life.
And after a few minutes, he started to get the gist of why
he was doing this.
He said, "If I got all these benefits from making
different choices and doing all these things, I'd love it.
My life would be completely different than it is now."
Would you make those choices more often?
"Absolutely."
So why didn't you do it before?
"I guess I never paid attention to the consequences and
the 'What's In It For Me.' I guess I even tried to avoid
thinking of them."
Bingo!
See, the problem was (and most people suffer from this),
the words he used to describe all the decisions and actions
that were best for him in the long run were these:
Boring, tasteless, hard, difficult, impossible, yuk, can't
do it, disgusting, takes too long, wouldn't work, dreadful,
horrible, I'm not a genius, blah, blah, blah.
What he needed to do - and the job is far from over - was
learn how to have rip roaring fun doing the right thing.
So he needed to "associate" fun, pleasure and enjoyment to
the "supportive" decisions and actions, while at the same
time "associating" pain (or at least displeasure) to the
people, places, things, decisions and actions that are
"unsupportive" of him having a good life 360 degrees around.
Yes, there is more to having a great, rewarding, abundance-
filled life, but this is something that most people:
1) Never do, and
2) If they do, they never think about it again...
...opting for the instantaneous, "feel good now" decisions.
The important thing to remember, if you want to make
choices that support you in all areas of your life is to
know what each choice does...
Because everything we do has either good or bad
consequences. True, some decisions don't have big
consequences in either direction, but the thing to remember
is this...
...When you are practiced at making the right choices when
they are small, you won't have any trouble making them when
it really counts... when they have gigantic consequences.
People call this character and integrity.
It makes hard choices feel easy.
It makes difficult tasks feel fun.
It makes staying motivated a snap.
And that is what this is really about, keeping your
motivation...
Because that is what my client asked about first... he
wanted to know how to stay motivated. Because he couldn't
stick with anything, always getting distracted by pretty
colors, fancy tastes, flirtatious women, fun around every
corner... the "life is too short to work so hard" mentality.
Forgetting completely that life is painfully long when you
can't do what you must do when you must do it.
Trust from others and even self-trust goes way down and
problems from every direction blind-side you almost daily,
because "poor choices are never to blame. It's always
outside forces that cause the problems."
Bottom line? Do what you know is right at all times and
you won't be able to help it... your life will be a
masterpiece. The Law of Attraction will tip in your favor,
and great things will just seem to happen to you and around
you constantly.
Love,
Mike Brescia
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feels-good (yet still miserable) pleasure-seekers on the
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Because when you are happy doing what is right and best
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No feelings of missing out... just pleasure and fun... and
massive accomplishment daily.
PPS: Brian told me that if he just focused on this stuff,
he was certain that every area of his life would improve
ten fold. I told him that I agree, without a doubt.
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