July 21, 2008
"What is behavior modification" - funny answers
Hello my friend:
This weekend I did an odd thing. As people walked along
in the main hallway of a massive shopping mall here in
town, I asked them a question.
The question?
"What does behavior modification mean?"
Well, I gotta tell you, I got a variety of interesting
and comical answers.
Many people said they wish they could do it... that they
have a lot of habits they wish they could break, and that
if they could, their lives would be much better.
So for their answers: What people think when they hear
the words "behavior modification" ... they said things like:
* Torture
* Reward systems
* Carrot & stick
* Punishment for messing up
* Yelling
* Withholding love
* Basic Pavlovian conditioning (ie. ring bell, eat, ring
bell, eat, ring bell... salivate with the expectation of
eating),
* Make promises to get compliance
* Begging
* Think of a bad thing that can or will happen to induce
the desired behavior
* Intimidation
* Stay focused on the benefit of doing something
* Joining a club or support group
* Taking a class to learn a skill
There were many more...
The answers were all over the board.
Many had merit.
Many work in some situations.
Many don't work at all.
Some were expensive as heck.
All were short-term "fixes."
And every person I asked this question, in addition to
answering it, said that they had MANY, MANY things they'd
like to change about themselves that they have not been
able to change.
And it's because effective behavior modification is none
of the things they said.
Behavior modification... that is, permanently changing
your decisions and actions in specific areas of your life
cannot begin on the outside.
One lady, for example, talking about the area of dietary
issues, said that when she wanted to eat healthier and
lose some blubber, she tried to avoid certain aisles in
the grocery store, and stocked up on the produce (fruits
and veggies).
I asked her how that worked out.
She said not so good. Because her cart seemed
"possessed" and automatically steered itself to where all
the bagged, boxed and canned "goodies" were.
And whenever she loaded up on the produce, it ended up
spoiling because it sat in the fridge for so long, uneaten.
So much for good intentions.
Because behavior modification isn't something that can be
forced by situation.
Long-term behaviors become automatic from core belief
systems, not fear of reprisal or because you try to take
away your options.
You are going to do what you want to do. Period.
Come hell or high water.
The key to getting yourself to do what you "should" do
and to being able to set a goal in the first place is to
be able to get yourself to truly WANT to do the things you
"should" do.
Because, again, you are going to do what you want to do.
Come hell or high water.
Because forcing yourself to do things you hate might last
for a day or two... or a week or two, if the carrot or
stick is big enough. But it won't last much longer.
Because you hate (or dislike) doing it.
This is what happens when brides trim down before their
wedding and then balloon back up within months.
It happens for class reunions, bikini/beach season.
It happens at the beginning of relationships and new
jobs, where you want to "be on your best behavior."
It happens when you clean the house top to bottom and
within a month it's back to the same old hole.
Because the "real" you comes out soon enough and nothing
has changed in the long run.
Same ****, different day.
That's how I lived the early years of my life. And that
is what most people do... they push themselves to try to
something new, to make resolutions, to change habits, to
feel differently. But it rarely works.
Because big and small decisions and actions are based on:
1- Core beliefs... what you accept as true (or true for
you)
2- Thoughts... and most of these are based on your belief
systems
3- Attitudes... your values based on your beliefs and
thoughts
4- Emotions... mental states caused by a mixture of your
beliefs, thoughts, attitudes and situations you are in.
It's these things, not some impending event or reward/
punishment system, that guide my behavior, your behavior
and everyone you knows behavior.
Every decision you make and every action you take (or
don't take in every major area of life and every skill in
all those life areas are controlled by the four drivers
above.
Want to change something big and haven't been able to?
What to change something small and haven't been able to?
I'll betcha you've tried a bunch of times, huh?
This is what we do at Think Right Now.
We help people change behaviors where nothing has ever
worked... from panic attacks and depression to eating
better, being organized, concentrating, confidence...
And even most recently, new program have been released
for becoming effective leaders, being able to fall asleep
whenever you want to, and just last week a behavior
modification program for becoming a terror on the golf
course.
Because there is practically no skill sets and emotional
patterns that are beyond your ability to learn quickly.
All you need is the tools to do it.
If you need some major "attitude adjustments," get over to
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com and
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com/catalog.asp and get what
fits the bill NOW.
If you already have some and shelved them, dust them off,
read the short manual (download it here)
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com/manual/
and get going.
What you want is so close... closer than you believe.
Whatever your dreams are, they are not that far off.
So modify your behavior in the short term and get over to
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com and what you find there
will help you modify it in the long term.
I just betcha.
Love,
Mike Brescia
PS: On Thursday, the 25% off introductory discount on
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(c) copyright 2017 Think Right Now Int'l
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com
- http://www.instantinnerpower.com
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