September 11, 2008
You determine your value--no one else - case study
Hello my friend:
Sorry about delay in sending this Think Right Now case
study I promised hours ago... The electricity went out and
then there were lots of sirens...
But alas, we're back online.
The story sent in by Greg Ontong from South Africa shows
what mass prejudice and, in this case, Apartheid can do to
a person's self image.
When others judge you harshly, abuse you, terrorize you
and treat you in inhumane ways, it is natural and common to
have a negative view of yourself.
It is common to feel less worthy.
After all, when we're told we're worthless and treated as
such for long periods of time, we just accept it as true.
When we're criticized, laughed at, called names, called
out for mistakes publicly, it can hurt. It can cause
depression, social anxiety, anger, rage, and a whole host
of other destructive behaviors that further disempower us.
But the good news is that when you learn how to
communicate with yourself on a moment by moment basis, when
you learn the type of mental movies to keep running through
your mind and how to do it, even a lifetime of low self-
worth can, over time, possibly very quickly, be turned
around.
You can learn to love yourself, to like yourself and to
feel worthy of even the highest acknowledgements and
rewards in life.
Because in truth, if you're reading this, you should know
this:
No one is better than you.
Sure, there are people who are richer, more talented in
some areas of life, more attractive according to societies
values, have better social skills and who are more gifted
intellectually.
But you have your own gifts and talents.
Enough to work with, to nurture and to grow.
The average person does not like themselves... even the
richest, most talented, attractive, socially adept,
brightest people often have the lowest opinions of
themselves.
Greg's story below shows that even when an entire society
is against you, you can still blossom and make your life
wonderful and beautiful. You can still love yourself and
who you make yourself.
You can matter.
Here's Greg's story:
==================================
Hi Mike,
I am from South Africa. 10 years ago we moved from a
political oligarchy - which means rule by a leading
minority possessing all the privileges and benefits while
the majority of people were excluded from even voting. This
was what was known as Grand Apartheid (the legal side) and
Petty Apartheid.
P.T. treated people in a derogatory and demeaning way much
the same as what happened in the American South with
regards to the abusive behaviour toward people of different
colour and culture.
It is definitely not good for your self esteem.
I felt absent. I felt as if a huge hole went through my
solar plexus - a pure void of loneliness, misery,
depression and unhappiness. I could not put my finger on it.
At the height of my teaching career I sought fulfillment
in architecture but failed. The funny thing is I knew that
all was not well. I knew I should and could do better. That
I could cope better with life, be more successful- for
goodness sake just be happy, just once.
This led me to search for answers. I sought on-line
counseling in my country. For months and years I read and
reread the write-ups of your programs. I subscribed to your
book "Today is Your Day to Win!" Eventually I bought some
programs.
One of your programs I purchased was Real Self-Esteem now
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com/a/esteem.asp and I used it
for relaxation through my thesis period. My job as a person
working in conservation requires communicating through
writing and speaking, as well as visiting people and
places. Now if you consider the self esteem issues I had,
you would realize that there would be some difficulty - and
there was. Fortunately I knew where to go.
I purchased Conquering Social Anxiety Now
- http://www.thinkrightnow.com/a/social-anxiety.asp
and all my negative, destructive self-talk, fear, the
perspiring, and that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach
was gone!
What has remained...a self-assured man who is a confident
speaker with an ability to influence people.
After our third meeting, the chairman of the conservation
council committee body said - "Man, you c-a-n communicate".
This is the ultimate compliment to someone who for decades
did not have the nerve to ask a question in a class - who
never ventured to make a statement.
Here I am. I am proud to be me again. I go to restaurants.
I sit in public in open spaces. I go to gatherings and
meetings. This week I attended a meeting - cold. I made
contributions.
I am left with only one question- who is this guy?
Mike, I love this new man I've become. It has been a long
journey, but it is not over. I still have a ways to go.
If it had not been for your intervention I cannot imagine
what I would have been like today. When you say that you
are my friend and coach, guess what, I believe that with
all my heart and even that helps. Someone actually cared.
You can believe that I advise people to get the programs.
Mike, thank you so much.
Regards
Greg Ontong, South Africa
=======================================
MB: Frankly, I'm speechless. To be acknowledged for
having a part in your massive growth as a person in those
kinds of conditions is humbling. So I thank you, Greg.
Considering how far you've come, there appears to be little
doubt that greatness is inside of you.
Keep bringing it out. And keep using that Success
Conditioning program.
That's about all I can say right now.
Love,
Mike Brescia
======================
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